What if I told you, this is a fairytale?
What if you knew I decorated the walls of my castle,
So that you wouldn’t look inside?
What if I told you, I dress up my flaws with pretty words
So you can’t see the dead secrets I bury?
I stamp my successes on my forehead
While my mountain of failure crumbles under my feet.
Good grades.
Friendly remarks.
Glossy skin.
My wall,
My cover.
What if I told you
I look in the mirror
To see what blemishes I should conceal?
Oh, you like my smile?
Thanks, I copied and pasted it from a picture of when I was younger
Because I can’t let you see
What’s locked away in the dungeons of my heart.
My expensive clothes,
My lofty goals and multi-step career plan,
My Tower of Babel.
But what if
I let the walls tumble down?
What if I ended
This artificial game I’ve been playing?
I could sit here exposed,
As raw as an open wound.
Would you believe
What you saw?
Would you nurse me
Back to health?
Would you scorn?
Would you mock?
Would you hate me because I let you
Think
This fantasy was my reality?
I hope you enjoyed reading this poem! I wrote it several weeks ago when I was reading and writing a lot of poetry. When writing poetry, I don’t want to simply add pretty words together for the sake of it. Like all of my writing, I want it to have some type of purpose, and for this poem, I wanted it to be raw and real.
I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s way easier to pretend and hide my emotions sometimes. It’s easier to succumb to our fears of what people might think of us if we’re honest. It’s easier to create a facade and bury our emotions deep within us. But doing this creates loneliness, and the more we hide, the more difficult it is to let people find us. If you’re struggling right now, know that you are not alone. It’s okay to ask for help. You don’t need to put on a show and pretend everything is fine when it is not. We’re all struggling, and it’s okay to admit it.
May you find hope, rest, and comfort in whatever you’re going through.
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